“Dickinson’s Rules” is a list I created in my young adulthood that has served me well to this very day. When I found myself explaining the same “truth” over and over again, it seemed like a good time to label it as one of “Dickinson’s Rules” to make its wisdom official. There are over twenty rules on the list and it keeps growing. Every time something happens over and over again, with the same explanation, another rule appears.
This first rule is “The Headbanger Theory of Life,” which goes like this: if, in the process of pursuing some goal, you begin to feel like you’re banging your head against a wall, then stop. Banging your head against a wall is ill-advised at any time and it’s a sure sign that the way in which you are pursuing your goal is unlikely to succeed. Sometimes the intense pursuit of a goal can blind me to other possibilities — a better way to achieve the goal or the possibility this is not a goal I should be pursuing in the first place.
I could probably blog for years on examples of this rule alone! Just the other day, I made my fifth or sixth attempt to diagnose the problem with my HP scanner, which is an “all-in-one” printer with scanner, copier, and fax capabilities that I’ve had for over six years. Thick black lines began to appear on all the scans and copies it made. Between the HP “Printer Scanner Doctor” online diagnostic tool and HP’s database of information about my particular unit — “Warranty expired in 2017” — I couldn’t get support, until now.
I had already achieved the “headbanger” status and was only giving it one more try with a cable connection instead of a wireless one to try to download drivers, in case that was the problem. But, finally, I found a phone number. I got tech support on the phone and achieved a diagnosis — “Hardware problem. You need to buy a new unit, ma’am.”
Ordinarily, I will do a lot before I bow to trashing technology. My laptops are eight years old, my cell phone is three, and, as stated previously, the printer has been around for at least six. So I told the nice lady that I would buy a new scanner/copier since the printing part of the HP unit was still working fine.
The first part of the headbanger strategy was… stop trying to connect and get someone on the phone. The second part… stop worrying about buying yet another device and get yourself a decent scanner/printer. Everything hinges on being able to stop and that hinges on being able to recognize the feeling of “I’m banging my head against a wall!” You may call it something different, but the key is to recognize an uncomfortable, unproductive pattern of thought and/or action, pause, take stock, think of alternatives, “marinate” for a little while, and then proceed.
You’ll hear a lot about “pause, take stock, think of alternatives, and marinate” in this blog. They are my golden “keys” to happiness… and to the reduction of all unnecessary head banging in my life!
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Barbara Dickinson, Owner and Operator